Now that the second full week of October has almost passed, people are gearing up for what I can say is oftentimes the most social time of year, the time that I know everyone is looking forward to— the holiday season. Last week on a trip to Target, it became clear that stores are very well prepared for these next few months, with a plethora of candy and Halloween decorations, Christmas lights not even two aisles over. It is the season of high school Homecoming, holiday anticipation, and so many more exciting things for people. I always remember loving this time of year in Folsom, preparing to decorate our lawns and the annual traditions families did every year. Now that I’ve got a new place to call home, there come new traditions and new people to celebrate with.
At Target last weekend with Nick, we picked up several bags of candy as well as some decorations to put up in/around our dorms. We may have gone a little overboard without having our parents to remind us “You don’t really need that”, or “Should you be getting so much candy?” but it was fun nonetheless. After returning with our hands full of bags, my roommates and I proceeded to decorate, and I must say that our dorm room looks quite fantastic. Picture this: Command hooks adorning the doorway and wall around our door with spiderwebs stretching across, plastic spiders scattered throughout, with stickers on our door saying “Trick or Treat”, and a large whiteboard for people to draw holiday themed fun all over. For a three-person room, it sounds pretty cozy right? While decorating, there was this moment, a freeze-frame, where I feel like life stopped for a split second so I could hold onto it. Both of my roommates and I were standing outside the room with a spider or a whiteboard marker in our hands, contemplating where to put the rest of our decorations, and I could just feel the warmth wash over me— this felt just a little bit like home.
Moments like that are what I love about new beginnings, fresh starts, and finding our way through something. I wish I could say that the homey feeling lasts forever, but I know that it doesn’t.
I feel like no matter where we are at in our lives or who we are with, sometimes, things can begin to feel just a little bit lonely. Maybe you’re not quite where you wanted to be, maybe you’re missing the people who mean the world to you, or maybe it’s just a feeling without a cause. One way or another, it happens. As freshman, it’s kind of like starting over whether we went to a local college or farther away for education. It is all still a step closer to the adult world and one more away from our families, from familiarity. When things get hard and we start having to make decisions on our own, or even when we talk to the people we miss, it can be easy to forget that we are not alone in this journey, that we will never be alone in this life. But that’s the thing about friendship, the beauty of missing people in the first place or feeling this way. Because it is times like these when we need to remember that missing people means that we are lucky enough to have people to miss. And as it always seems to work out, right as we are beginning to feel alone, someone comes along to remind us that we are not.
My third full week, or fourth official week, of college is officially over and I know that I am still not quite adjusted to things here. It’s not that I haven’t made friends or that this isn’t a beautiful town to be in, for me it’s just taking time to get used to my new surroundings and my life. From what I’ve been told, the best things take time and sometimes we forget to give ourselves that. It can be like going to the gym every day for a week and expecting to see six pack abs on your body by Sunday. That kind of result takes time, whether we think we have it or not. This morning, a wonderful friend of mine sent me a song, You Can’t Rush Your Healing by Trevor Hall. In the middle he sings, “Mama well she told me time is such a wonderful gift. You’re not running out, you’re really running in.” I think this line is important to remember because it’s saying that whatever you’re going through, give yourself time to get to where you want to be. And even more than that, something that I know is hard for a lot of people, is to let yourself lean on others. Give yourself love and people that can keep you on your feet, just long enough to be able to stand on your own.
To all the people who take the time to read my blog posts every week, thank you for giving me something and someone beautiful to miss. And to all the people who are finding themselves feeling alone, not good enough, or a little less than themselves these days, I just want you to remember that you are everything you need to be and there is a world of people who love you for exactly who you are. That will never change, the amount of people who care about you will only increase in time, and no matter what is going on in your life, there is always something beautiful about it. Even when the real beauty is coming from you.