levi-bare-290792-unsplashWith one final left to go, I am one 3 hour test away from the halfway point of my undergrad career. And I am so ready for summer.

But before I get there, I think it’s about time I took a look back at these past two years— that’s what halfway points are for right?

Recap for year one: living in a triple with communal bathrooms, taking over common rooms, claiming two different dorms as my own, meeting far too many people to remember, making a handful of friends to hold onto, staying up till 3am on a regular basis to struggle through chemistry, and getting to know two roommates that I am still so blessed to have in my life.

So what about year two?

Well this one has been quite the year and I would start with a comparison to year one, but I don’t know where I would start. If I had to choose one way to put it, here it is: Year one was an academic struggle of figuring out where I stood here at Cal Poly.

Year two has been a personal struggle of trying to figure out who I am amidst everything else; my relationships, passions, involvements, and ideals have all changed more than I thought possible this year. So much so that a lot of the time, I’ve found myself feeling stuck— in my major, in a class routine, in a need to do or be more…the-journal-garden-vera-bitterer-682529-unsplash

It’s called the Sophomore Slump.

I came into college with a lot of expectations, the kind that can really take away from fully enjoying things. They are also quite hard to avoid. But I did my best to push those expectations to the side and coming into this year, I felt more comfortable than year 1 with friendly faces scattered throughout campus. I thought I knew a little more about that I was doing.

Life loves it when we feel that way right?

Because before I knew it, I was running after busses, making a trip home for a memorial, throwing myself into a new club way more outgoing than I have ever been, and retaking a chem class that I shouldn’t have needed to in the first place.

I was off to a good start.

Throughout the year, things got pretty busy with work, a major switch, training to become a CCE WOW (cross-cultural experience, week of welcome) orientation leader, working on my book (sorry, still not done), a few civil rights protests against the blatant racism this campus has seen this quarter, and a bit of the kind of socializing college is actually supposed to hold.

And those are just the big things.

marco-bianchetti-539177-unsplash.jpgBut the goal this year was to become a larger part of the school than I was before and remind myself of why I chose Cal Poly over Howard University. There are a lot of things this year that have made me doubt myself and my choices, my value and place here at this school, but there are a few that have also managed to reaffirm me at the same time.

Among any doubts of worth, I think all anyone needs are a few people who remind us exactly why we belong where we are. Over the past two years, from the dorms to my clubs, I’ve started to build up those relationships here and at the end of it all, I’m hoping year 3 will be an opportunity to make them stronger while finding some new ones along the way.

So Sophomore year, you have been quite the roller coaster that I don’t think I could have ever prepared for. In the last three quarters I’ve lost two friends– two of the most lively people I have ever met– and it’s changed my perspective on a lot of things including my college career and how I live my life. While I’m reminded of my education and why I’m at Cal Poly in the first place, I’m also reminded that we need to live and love while we still have the time.

As Robin Williams quoted, “gather ye rosebuds while ye may.”

Like I said before, here’s to whatever comes next— one more final and I’m off to see just what that might be.

Truly, today is a happy Friday. Have a good weekend 🙂nathan-fertig-334383-unsplash.jpg

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