Win Some, Lose Some

Photo by Evie S. on Unsplash

It’s been another long week, but lucky for me, it’s also now our Thanksgiving break. And let me tell you, I am ready for it. My post today is a pretty short one:

There have been so many things going on this quarter that sometimes, it’s hard to keep track. From hard decisions and dense theory classes to back-to-back studio projects and a new story to work on, I’ve been pretty busy.

But between the good, bad, and the in-between, it’s been a lot of work. Some of it good, others complete losses, but it is what it is.

Here’s the thing though. My writing means a lot to me; I place a lot of my self worth and expectations on it because, well, my writing is me. Kinda hard not to put some value into that.

In some cases, that validation has not quite planned out. With my fiction writing workshops, my classmates are not afraid to say what they think, filter or lack there of. As much as my story has been something I’m proud of, there are some big changes I need to make.

Photo by Evie S. on Unsplash

By changes, I mean that I need to rewrite the entire beginning. Or write, actually. Where the book starts is about three months after where it needs to start. My job is to write those three months into fiction in its entirety, creating my characters lives before I knew them and who they are as people.

Sounds like a lot right? There’s a reason I haven’t gotten to it yet.

So my reviews so far, I think I consider those losses. My peers liked the story, but not in a way that would keep them liking it.

Now, I need to change that.

But despite the amount of work I know is patiently waiting for me, there is one small bit of redemption in this post, don’t worry.

Fiction is something that I would never give up, not for anything. But I would be lying if I didn’t admit that poetry was my first written love.

Photo by Allie Smith on Unsplash

I loved having the power to make my own rules, to make something beautiful out of the maybe not so beautiful. I loved putting words out into the world that would mean something to someone.

All because they meant something to me.

Art is an outlet and even if I wasn’t trying to work on anything, it’ll come regardless. So why fight it?

My blog posts come on a weekly basis but everything else doesn’t have a schedule. As a result, the validation doesn’t either.

You know that production I submitted my work two years ago? The Original Womex’s Naratives—I’ve submitted a piece for the last two years and this year, I had high expectations this time too. I mean, who doesn’t put that kind of pressure on their work?

Well this year, I submitted two personal pieces about a month ago and I just heard back; they decided to take one.

One will always be good enough for me.

Because these stories, I’m not the only one who has them. We all do. Shows like this one give us a chance to share them, to let people into our lives just a fraction of the way. We’re all different after all, that’s what makes us who we are. I think all of us deserve to our that out into the world sometimes.

We never know how what we have to say will be received. With the right audience, they just might take you as you are.

If I’m lucky, I can get there with my novel too.

Photo by yoav hornung on Unsplash

As for the poem, it’s on self love and the struggle all of us go through in understanding ourselves. I’ll share it with you soon, but for now just know that if you’re on my blog, you’ll have to take me as I am too.

I don’t know any other way to be.

Happy Friday, and for those traveling this week, be safe out there. See you next week.