Leaning into Senior Year Changes

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Another week of my senior year is over, and if the lines of students buying scantrons in the University Store were any indication, I’d say it’s the beginning of midterm season.

The kind that doesn’t really end until finals begin.

Personally though, I can’t say that I’m feeling a whole lot of stress. Somehow, I’m still ahead in almost all of my classes, I’ve written two 1000+ word papers that aren’t due for a while, and my study plans are already set for when midterms and finals do finally come around.

Truly, I can’t tell you the last time I was this on top of things… Probably fall quarter my sophomore year.

Just because I’m ahead of the game though, doesn’t mean that I’m coasting through this school year. If anything, this is probably my most challenging quarter on the creative side of things. And it only gets tougher from here.

As an english major, I can write you an essay, plead to the humanistic or logical side of things, and understand literary theory/criticism (if you give me an hour at least) any day. 

As a Creative Writing emphasis student with a Media, Arts, Society, and Tech minor, writing a well balanced and interesting story or creating a digital render of a sand dollar that covers expression, technical lines, gesture lines, and symbol qualities are a little outside my norms.

It literally gives me headaches.

On the realistic side of things though, it’s probably not the material or the work giving me headaches. And the new kind of work I’m doing, well, it’s new. Here’s why that’s important.

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Have you ever watched little kids try to play soccer or basketball, any kind of sport really, and recognized how bad a lot of them were starting out? Growing into our bodies, I can’t say that we’re born knowing how to dribble a ball and throw it perfectly or how to kick something without the rest of our bodies moving too. That’s why we practice. 

Even while I started getting into digital art back in high school, I hadn’t touched it in college until this past summer when I chose to take a refresher course online. I’ll be honest, I am not that good. And if you ever ask me to draw a face of any kind… You will be sorely disappointed—for now.

Because here’s the thing, even while I’m doing work that I’m not used to and trying programs that I never thought I would get to touch, it’s exciting. Because I know that it’s a good fit for me.

Between my creative writing workshop, literary theory seminal, intro to science and tech interdisciplinary studies, and digital class, my life looks very different than it did last quarter. Last quarter, I went from one english class to another, all of which had a whole lot of readings and far too many things to remember. Now, I get to use my head and my own comprehension along with my creative skills and imagination. I can’t say that I’m good at what I’m doing quite yet, but I’m passionate about it. And I know exactly where I want to go with it.

That says a lot.

Unlike a lot of other students right now, I’m not stressed even with week 4 upon us soon enough. I’m still ahead of my work, my study guides are being finished, my classes are being attended no matter how surface level they can get, and I’m working hard. That, and I’ve been doing a little more playing hard every weekend with my roommate too—lemme tell ya, dancing is good for the soul.

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So yes, my classes are hard and there are some things that I am really bad at right now. Sure, it’s midterm season and I’m trying to stay on top of all my material. But also, classes are interesting and I know these are things that I actually want to learn about. I’m finding a better balance in this whole college thing.

Took me 4 years, but like I said, it takes time to get good at something. And even if I’ve gotten that far, I know I still have a whole lot to learn.

This time, I think I’m open to whatever comes next.


Have a good weekend everyone.