Here’s a little honesty for you: I miss writing. Not because I don’t do it anymore, clearly, but because I haven’t been doing it for me. It’s been a while since I’ve put up a new poem of mine because, well, I haven’t been writing anything. Sometimes we put little pieces of ourselves on hold for other things, things we think are more important or more necessary like school or work. But after some time, we might lose those pieces. We might lose ourselves.
That’s the thing about growing up, losing pieces is a part of the process— as long as we find new ones. I’ve learned in my first year of college that people are going to come in and out of our lives. It doesn’t always matter how long they stuck around for, but really how they change us while they do. Some people give us more strength and happiness, other people give us more stress and misery. The trick is to find the right ones.
The people we surround ourselves with has a high impact on how we see ourselves and how we see ourselves can really change how we feel. September is World Suicide Prevention Month and this post was a very important information piece to me last year. This year I want to go in a different direction: I want to talk about us.
Every single one of us comes with flaws, I understand that fact— we wouldn’t be human otherwise. Growing up, I’ve been told that I’m a bit of a pushover. And I know that, sometimes it’s been a good thing. Other times, not so much. But just because we all have our quirks and little thing we could do to be better, that doesn’t mean we should have to change who we are for anyone else. Health and well-being is extremely important for every single one of the 7.4 billion people in this world; it is such a big part of this month, of our lives. And it applies to every one of us when I say that you deserve to surround yourself with people who make you truly feel like it’s a life worth living.
So here’s to finding out who we can be with the people we deserve, flaws, fading adolescence, and all. Here’s to getting back into my writing and here’s to being okay with letting things go when we need to. Even when it’s hard.
Here’s I’m sorry
I’m a pushover, I know.
People tend to exploit that
and that’s okay.
Because when you love them,
and they make a mistake, they might hurt you.
But you don’t blame them,
no, you couldn’t.
You simple apologize and move on. You let it go.
It’s better that way.
We haven’t talked for awhile and it’s sad.
I got busy, you got busy, that’s how life goes.
Maybe there was time, somewhere,
we could have made things work.
But we didn’t, distance was too much,
and in the end
we couldn’t stick around for each other.
I should have walked away back then.
I let bad things happen when they didn’t have to
but they did.
I got hurt trying to pull you back
I kept trying, always trying… But it was never enough;
with you, I never was.
There was never any good enough,
there was just you and there was me.
I was hoping for a change of heart
A change in us maybe.
But the only thing you ended up changing
was my mind.
So I’m sorry…
But I’m not, not really.
I am not sorry.
Because sometimes things don’t work out
and people get left behind.
Sometimes we grow, we find what’s best for us,
we learn how to cut strings that tie us up
instead of letting us grow and move on.
Sometimes, we need to learn when to stop apologizing
to people who cannot see our worth,
and instead, be okay with walking alone
until we find people who can.
So to health and well-being, to World Suicide Prevention Month, and to all the love people deserve to feel in this world: Welcome to September.