Why Today, You Need To “Have a Day”

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Photo by Joanna Kosinska on Unsplash

The holiday season is truly upon us with only a few days to Christmas, so I’ve spent the last week working and trying to catch up on sleep. If I take a look at my Fitbit, I’ve definitely succeeded on the sleep end of things but what about the holiday celebrating part?

Well, as a lot of us know by now, the holidays come with a whole lot of expectations. And expectations can be hard to meet sometimes, in the same way kids tend to get so excited about the holidays and the season because it means more gifts and less school. As I’ve gotten older, I haven’t really known what to see coming out of this season or what I really want out of it… Which kind of reminds me of something someone told me yesterday.

Instead of saying “have a good day,” let go of the expectations. It doesn’t have to be good, or beautiful or fun. Just have a day.

The more I look at my life and the way I live it, there are a whole lot of expectations on each of us. Playing sports, going to college, what it’ll be like to meet the parents, liking this kind of person or that one, having kids, etc. There is a lot mapped out for us before we even get a chance to choose the road we want to take and well, such expectations can get in the way.

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Photo by Letizia Bordoni on Unsplash

Because even if you expect yourself to be one way or another, sometimes it doesn’t work out. After all, you can’t fit a circle into a square hole—some things truly aren’t supposed to be the way you want them to.

Don’t expect them to be.

In the same way I took on my junior year, I looked at my first year as an English major and decided that the pieces would fall where they may. I could make Dean’s List, I could also fail all my classes. I could have a fantastic WOW with 16 incredible WOWies that I love (which is what happened), or half of them could have decided not to ever show up and hate me instead. Either way, I went into it all with my arms wide open to take whatever got sent to me and handle it from there.

As it turns out, sometimes that’s the only way to do things. Whether you’re a newbie or you’ve done it a million times, removing the expectations you have of something and taking it from where you are or what you can handle can alleviate the pressure of doing it right or well or however you expect it to go.

Just do it and figure it out as you go.

When it comes to the holidays, the only thing I’m expecting is to have another day. A day hopefully filled with people I love, lots of music, cheesy matching pajamas, and food I look forward to, but nonetheless these are all hopes of what will happen. I expect nothing. All I plan to do is show up and go from there.

If we spend so much time focused on the expectations, they don’t push us forward. All they do is hold us back. There’s a difference between giving yourself the chance to be prepared to meet your goals, and expecting things happen the way you want them to when there really is nothing stopping it all from changing directions. As my parents like to say, don’t count your chickens before they hatch—until something happens for certain, don’t expect it to.

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Photo by Rose Elena on Unsplash

So as we move into the holidays and only too soon, the new year, I wanted to share the reminder that I needed to let go of the status quo I want out of things and instead let them be as they are or find a way to change it myself.

Maybe it’ll make the season a little lighter for you. Happy Holidays everyone and I wish you and those you love all the best. See you Tuesday for Bookworms.

Why Sometimes, It’s Not About the High Road

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Photo by Björn Grochla on Unsplash

“When people go for the low blow…”

You have two options here: you either take the high road OR you decide to go just a little bit lower.

So which way do you go?

The thing about taking the high road is that you get to have the full knowledge of what happened and still follow through on being a good person– maybe a little more cautions, but good nonetheless. It lets you be the bigger person, right?

But what about the other option, being petty and deciding to maybe go for the low blow back sometimes? Because if I’m being honest, taking the high road can make a person feel pretty small and maybe, maybe some days you deserve to fight back for yourself a little bit.

This week has been an absolute whirlwind and not necessarily a good one. Among everything else, I got an email on Monday telling me that I am almost at my graduation date… I wanted to delete that email. Because that means that I’m headed out into the real world soon or I at least need to know where I’m going.

I have no clue. Not really.

I mean, how do we figure that out when there are midterms and classes and auditions and articles and homework and work…

And then the drama, there’s always more drama isn’t there? Whether it’s drama in your work environment or even within your relationships, there’s always a little something to top it all off. My mom keeps telling me to take the high road– she’s right, as always, but maybe I want to be a young and slightly petty, reckless twenty-year old sometimes.

Because, well, college is hard.

Most of us are barely sleeping, let alone balancing that with the amount of work there is to do and things to keep track of. Of course, you can’t forget the fun in there somewhere too– with a day of 88 degrees in SLO today, you can bet half of the campus was at the beach.

There’s got to be some kind of balance in it all. And yes, I’m sure you know how I feel about finding that at this point; I talk about it a lot. But remember this: just because you find it, doesnt’ mean it’ll always hold.

Sometimes that balance breaks, into all these teeny tiny pieces that you get to clean up and rearrange all over again. Then it’s got a new weight and a new type of equilibrium to it, a new kind of balance.

Maybe you find that through taking the high road and being the bigger person.

Maybe you go for the low blow instead…

But is there some inbetween?

Like that in-between of being too nice versus being a narcissist. I’m more on the early end of that spectrum, therefore I get stepped on and taken advantage of a lot.

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Photo by Chris Lawton on Unsplash

Maybe my inbetween means changing that.

Among the rest of it, this week has reminded me that some things truly are not always what they seem– authenticity is hard to find in everything we do, especially the people we surround ourselves with. Who knows, maybe I’ll take the low blow or maybe I’ll take the high road. Either way, the status quo here is changing.

So we will see whatever happens next.

Nobody Puts Baby In A… Box?

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Photo by Leone Venter on Unsplash

Okay, I have to be honest with you about something… I’ve never actually watched Dirty Dancing all the way through. I mean, who doesn’t know the famous line regarding babies and corners whether or not they’ve seen the movie? It’s a classic.

But what I can tell you I have done, through and through, is something I think we all do without even noticing it.

I’ve put myself in a box, plenty of them actually.

And I’m not just talking giant refrigerator boxes borrowed to make forts out of, I’m talking the hypothetical box we oftentimes put ourselves in that may turn out to be boundaries holding us in rather than opportunities to branch out.

Think about it, as children we are asked what we want to be when we get older— I think I said a veterinarian because I loved animals, typical I know.

Next it was a doctor, a professional reader, even a designer at some point. These are the things I held onto, that I shaped myself around and into even when the definition didn’t quite fit.

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Photo by JD Mason on Unsplash

Welcome to Box #1.

How about, the one that we’ve all seen before whether we want to answer it or not, from job applications to standardized testing. For some people it can be an identity crisis because, what if more than one applies and you’re only allowed to pick one? There it is anyway, the question we all see coming: What’s your race or ethnicity?

Box #2.

And of course, that universal question on personality tests, you know the one that asks you what kind of person you are before only offering two options. That stereotypical difference between those sitting in the back of the bleachers and those leaning far over the front of them: Are you introverted or extroverted?

Box #3.

From the things we love and the passions we hold to the people we chose to be and the paths we pursue, they’re definitions, ideas to fit into. These boxes help people to figure out who they are, but they can also hold us back.

Let’s go to that second box for a minute, humor me. Do you remember the amount of times I’ve told you I’m an introvert, that I’m quiet and generally pretty reserved? It wasn’t a lie, I am and if you asked my friends they would probably agree. But only sometimes.

Give me an option to go out to a party or kick it back with a few good friends, and I’ll probably choose the latter. But throw me in a group where nobody knows each other, and you might catch a little extra sass and comedy from yours truly.

This isn’t because I have a big personality, though I might, but because it can be nice to vibe off the energy from people around me. I’m not saying I’m very funny and in reality a complete extrovert, but in some situations, I can find myself somewhere in the middle of that box.

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Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

So why do I hold onto the label of being an introvert so tightly?

Because it makes me feel like I belong to something.

It’s the same way for some people who believe themselves to be more analytical than creative— maybe they were told in grade school that their mind is so strongly geared towards logic that they decided to follow that belief.

Even if creativity was always itching up their arms in the meantime.

In figuring out who we are or what defines us, we can get so attached to the identity we think we already know that we forget to let ourselves back out of that box every once in a while.

Just because you are a talker at heart, it doesn’t hurt to listen.

Or if you are good with computers and have never picked up an instrument in your life, there’s no reason not to try your hand at music if you want to.

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Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash

There are these middle ground, gray areas, that allow people to be more than one thing or the other. If you feel so inclined in one direction, then go for it. Follow it to your heart’s content.

But if you ever feel a pull coming from your other side, don’t let the person you’ve always been or thought you should be turn those boxes into a cage around your personality.

Nobody should put you in a box you don’t want to be in. Not even you.

Storytime!

mi-pham-151954-unsplash.jpgToday I am going to try something different with you all, I’m going to tell you a story. And I promise, it has a point in the end and it’s also a really funny memory that I’m never going to live down— so why not throw it out into the open now, right?

Ready? Here we go.

As children, we do a lot of things we can look back at and pinpoint exactly what went wrong. Like, just a hypothetical, looking into my memories to find a key in my hand, inches away from an electrical outlet. See, I wasn’t always this brilliant. Or watching myself wear the same pants to school for a full week— gauchos were pretty awesome back in the day, they were a bright orange too, but awesome enough for that? Maybe not.

But I think one of my greatest moments was a dumb one, I admit it, and I get reminded of it at least once a year. I should have known better and the thing is, I probably did. Sometimes we just have to accept the mistakes we are about to make and instead hope for the best while we go ahead and make it.

That’s exactly what I did.

Did anyone else’s parents always tell them not to run with the scissors or take the stairs with lollipops in their mouths? I’m sure mine did but if I’m being honest, I don’t remember. What I do remember is them telling us not to play with sharp things, or when I asked my mother about makeup, she told me to take my time and I didn’t need it anyway. Thanks mom, you’re the best.aaron-burden-60068-unsplash Of course my dad also told me to be strong and independent, so if I wanted my own set of screwdrivers, he would get them in a heartbeat. I still have them in my room here in SLO.

We’re told a lot of things, what to do and what not to do. But we’re not told everything… Some lessons, we simply learn at our own expense.

Picture this, it’s back to school night in second grade, the perfect chance for the younger kids to sneak onto the big kid’s playground while all the parents have to sit through whatever actually went on in those meetings. I took the twirling bars with a few friends while my brothers ran around doing their own games; it didn’t take me long to get off of those things, talk about a dizzying headache and a wrecked equilibrium to boot.

So I’m minding my own business right, Coke or Pepsi book in my hands (if you don’t remember those, here’s a picture, I spent all my bookfair money on it one year), and Kris runs up to me with his older friends, laughing hysterically. Ignoring them, even though of course I wanted to be included, all I hear is “you won’t believe it” and “you have to look, it’s so funny!”

I should have known it would be at my expense, and also completely my fault.

I hear someone tell me to look up, so I do, and all of them burst out laughing immediately. My face gets red, at least as red as even possible for me, and I storm off in the other direction like the emotional child I was, due to my own embarrassment. I was drew-graham-327935-unsplashso far from laughing at the time it almost makes me laugh more now, looking back on… Well, how I looked in that moment.  

Would you have laughed at an 8 year old me, missing half an eyebrow, clean cut?

See, the night before, I thought it would be fun to see how effective one of those pink dollar store razors could be. I wanted to “see if they actually work,” if I remember correctly. I think I knew they did, but I was too young for leg hair and you couldn’t triple-dog-dare me to try it on my head, so my eyebrow was the next best option.

Surprise surprise, those things are highly effective. And of course, being the resourceful girl I was, I tried to hide it from my brothers by doing what?

I colored it in with a Sharpie.

After laughing profusely, Kris tried to help me straighten it out, but I can only imagine the jokes my parents had for each other when I left dinner that night. I must have looked ridiculous. Actually I know I did, an image of my face in the mirror with half a sharpie’d in eyebrow is burned into my brain even twelve years later.

So be it, I had to deal with that mistake until my eyebrow finally grew out again and the sharpie washed all the way out. I think one of my eyebrows is still slightly crooked compared to the other, and I’m pretty sure that night has everything to do with it. Even so, a friend even reminded me of that night at our high school graduation– like I said, never living that down.

But I also said I had a point to this story right?

Sometimes you just need to laugh at yourself, even if it’s a few years after. Because we all do stupid things, hopefully with small consequences, and on occasion not so small consequences. At least for a lot of us, life can get rough or busy or stressful or all of the above. And it’s important to remember that in those moments, you need to find something to laugh about.

huyen-nguyen-567901-unsplash.jpgThe point of this story was to hopefully provide that something. I mean, come on, an 8 year old me, wearing what was most likely a Paul Frank monkey T-shirt, bright orange gaucho pants (I mean like these, but not cute), hair in cornrows, and half an eyebrow sharpie’d in crookedly and  a whole lot darker than my actual eyebrow(s)…

Trust me, if that visual doesn’t tell you, I was quite the site to see. But I hope you got a good laugh out of this today and if you’ve got a better story than mine, feel free to share yours! Happy Friday everyone, have a fantastic weekend.

20 Things I Learned Before I Turned 20

steffen-trommer-240177-unsplash.jpgWelcome back to another Friday blog post, my last one for April. I’ve got something special for you today— it’s a special day after all. Though to keep it authentic, I wrote this list yesterday, I get to share it with you right now! Every day that I look back since I’ve come to Cal Poly, I don’t feel a whole lot different. Then I actually take a step back from my almost two years here now, and it’s surprising the amount of growth I see in myself.

Imagine how that compares to the eighteen years before I even got here.

I look back and I see a person who’s been through a whole lot of change and lessons, but still molded into the girl I am today because of them. Like the way my list of passions got a little longer or my words have gotten a little stronger.

2 decades is a long time of learning— for some people, it’s a lifetime.

So without further ado, here’s what I’ve learned.


One— life goes on.

No matter what happens, as long as you keep going, life does too. Even if you freeze.

Two— Nothing is black and white.

adam-kring-560738-unsplash.jpgConsidering recent events at Cal Poly, not even racism is just black and white. Nothing is. What I’m talking about right now is a whole different story. For everything you think you know, there’s just one more thing you don’t. Every trick you see, there’s another one you didn’t quite catch. That’s just life, it’s accepting that you won’t know everything or see everything, but understanding your own ignorance in the process. Knowing that you don’t know is the first thing you need to know. Does that make sense?

Three— It’s not a race.

When it comes to life, I’m learning to take the time I need. Getting through classes, running late to sed classes, or really just taking my time getting ready in the morning. I think it’s important that if you need more time to enjoy or get through something, take it.

Four— Breathe.

Sometimes, you’ve just got to take a deep breath in and hold it while you put things in perspective. Then let it out. Count with me: Deep breathe in… Hold it… Hold it…

Five— Don’t get too comfortable.

The time moves quickly in this game of life, blink and you miss it. You know how you might plan out how a conversation will go in an effort to be ready, but then they didn’t bother to follow your script and you’ve got to improv it… Yep, we have to expect the unexpected.

Six— Enjoy it.

alejandro-alvarez-150148-unsplashNo, this is not a taste the happiness coca-cola commercial, but I am saying… Take it all in for a little while. Remember to smell the roses. Because college has been rough so far, but I know there are a whole lot of great things about it that I’ll miss when it’s over. So enjoy where you’re at, even if it’s one minute out of a 15 hour day that you can look back on and smile about.

Seven— There’s no “right” way.

Some people study for two minutes, others for two weeks. Some people get through a four year program in three, others spend three years working doing something else. Just because I might look at someone and wonder, “wait, what am I doing wrong?” i’ve come to realize that all of our paths cannot be compared, not really. There’s no real right or wrong, there’s just where you’re at. And you go from there.

Eight— College is not the best four years of your life.

I repeat, college is not the best four years of your life. One of our advisers said this last week and hearing this from an actual adult, it surprised me. When people used to tell me college would be the best four years of my life, I believed them— talk about false hopes, am I right? Don’t get me wrong, all-nighters and 24-hour Subway are great, but there’s more than this. We’re on a rollercoaster that only goes up

Nine— You’re a priority.

Always remember this. Twenty years has really gotten it through my head that this is my life and no matter what else is going on, I have to take care of me. No one else will, not always. And even if someone else tries, no one knows what I need unless I tell them. If you need something, tell someone who can support you or just do it yourself. Treat yourself like someone you love.

Ten— We have voices for a reason.

Use them. To speak up against injustice, to ask a question in class, to vote, to tell someone “I love you”…  Just say what you need to say and don’t be afraid of saying again a little louder this time, for the people in the back.

Eleven— Take nothing for granted.

Simple and maybe not always so sweet. Hold onto what you’ve it and appreciate it while you’ve got it.

Twelve— Honesty is the best policy.

daiga-ellaby-154929-unsplashWhether you’re telling a friend how you’re doing after that telltale question, or chatting up a cashier, you don’t have to always answer good. Sure, you don’t need to rant about the telemarketer about your dog chewing your shoes or a bad breakup, but sometimes it helps to just be honest with the people who care. And speaking of honesty, don’t forget to be genuine with the people you care about. I know I  have to try to remember that too.

Thirteen— Follow your passion.

I get it, not all passions fit into the 9-5 job. But a passion is something that can be pursued on the side or on lunch breaks or at 1AM in the morning… As long as they get pursued. If there’s something that matters enough to you, you won’t want to let it slip. So don’t; make time.

Fourteen— Music is everything.

I honestly think music saves lives— it’s another form of storytelling that I have an immense appreciation for. Sad? Listen to music. Going grocery shopping? Listen to music. In love? Listen… You get what I mean. There’s a time and place for everything and well, I think music fits into every one of them.

Fifteen— It comes down to you.

No matter what anyone else thinks, sometimes you truly do have to take the criticism or the praise and weave it into the fabric of your life every day. Because this life only belongs to one person, live it for you.

Sixteen— It takes two.

My parents used to have this saying, “it takes two hands to clap.” Though in principle, this was probably recited when one of us did something and promptly used the excuse “they started it.” Sound familiar? Even though, yes, I have learned that it doesn’t always matter who started it, I’ve also found something else in this phrase: you can’t do everything on your own. And maybe that’s okay.

Seventeen— Love is also everything.

roman-kraft-421410-unsplashNow coming from a girl who’s never been in anything remotely close to a relationship and is stereotyped in a generation that “doesn’t know what love means,” I’m not talking about romance. I’m just talking about the act of truly loving something for what it is. Whether its my family or my friends or even my passions. Finding something to love is finding something to keep going for. That includes yourself.

Eighteen— No step is too small.

Progress is progress. Whatever you’re working towards, a degree or a better job or recovery or that one good day… Celebrating the small victories, not just the big ones, is part of what keeps us going. Appreciate yourself for all of it, baby steps are sometimes all you need. As long as you keep stepping.

Nineteen— It’s just a number.

At a certain point, you realize that no matter the age, everyone is doing something different. Right now, some of us are in school, some of us are having kids, and some of us are get married. Maybe a little bit of everything; all of us are working hard. So I’ve learned not to worry about the implications of where we’re supposed to be depending on your age. Do what you need to do, the rest will follow.

Twenty— Work hard but play harder.

jonathan-daniels-399452-unsplashSo maybe it took me twenty years, but there’s a time to work and a time to play. Especially on a quarter system here at Poly, life moves pretty quickly, with midterms as early as week two and we have to make the most of the time we’ve got. Someone reminded me of this today and I realized that I’ve been here for two decades now, if I’m ever going to have a time to let loose, this is it.


So cheers to the end of teenage years and here’s to an entirely new decade. If anyone’s got anything I need to know before I get going full speed ahead into adulthood here, I’m all ears. Happy Friday everyone!

On Love’s Changing Image– Love, Simon

zoltan-tasi-273195-unsplashI’m not quite sure how we got here already, but here we are. Happy Friday Everyone! I’ve been home for a full day, only to leave again soon, but I’m making the most of it. Wednesday I spent a few hours in the sun once I got home, reading and trying to get rid of my sock tan. Then, last night I got to do one thing I’ve been looking forward to since the day it came out two weeks ago.

I finally got to see Love, Simon.

Based on the book, Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda, this is another one of those books that I watched the movie first; I haven’t gone back to read the book yet, but I might; I just didn’t want to spoil the ending this time. So what’s the movie all about anyway? Well, our main character Simon Spiers is a closeted high school senior and is forced to face his secret when the twists and turns (and people) threaten to tell the whole world.

In between the raging turmoil of Spiers and his high school experience, this movie was the slice of life a lot of people have been waiting for. Not only because this movie was complete friendship goals and an experience into another world for a little while, but because this slice of life was more than just another story told on screen. For a lot of people, Simon’s experience looked a whole lot like theirs.  

The thing about this movie and a handful of other movies that I thoroughly appreciate is that they offer representation for many youth that feel misunderstood. It unlocks the door for the kind of conversation that just hasn’t happened yet. 

So let’s talk, I promise I won’t spoil anything.

noom-peerapong-30948-unsplash.jpgI just want to start with saying how incredible it was to watch that movie, not because of just the film itself, but because of the atmosphere in that theatre. As we waited for the big reveal, literally all sitting on the edge of our seats, there wasn’t a single person in that room who wasn’t whooping or yelling or possibly crying when we got to the part we were waiting for— no matter who any of us are and what our lives look like, everyone was invested in what happened to Simon. We all wanted to know where his story was going.

Beyond the atmosphere, I think this movie was something important for more than the experience, but also for the understanding. To know how it feels to fall in love, to feel something, and not be so sure if those feelings can ever be returned back to you the way you want it.

We’ve all been there right, it’s your classic coming of age. 

But what about the rest of it? To understand what it’s like to protect a secret that feels too dangerous to your own wellbeing and security to let out. Growing up in a world where we are all surrounded by the things we are told we should be and things we are are told we should have done by now, it’s hard to figure out where we fit into the picture. 

Especially if that picture never looks like you.

Once what you want people to see falls apart, everyone can see it and it your reality might be one you’re not ready to show. That’s terrifying, and for a whole lot of people, it’s also real. This story is so much more than just another romcom, it’s allowing people to feel like maybe they deserve their own stories, beyond a sexuality or gender or race or their past…

This movie gives people permission to take their time to figure out who they are on their roman-kraft-421410-unsplash.jpgown, and who they want with them along the way while they try to get there.

No matter how long that takes, it’s okay.

Because Love, Simon shined a light on a lot of things, from a new perspective to a different experience. But in a way, movies and books like this are why I feel each is so important to our lives. These are the stories people need to see, need to read, the experiences we need to open our minds to a little bit.

Maybe one of these days, I’ll be lucky enough to write a story like this of my own. But for now, I can settle for Love, Simon because my eyes are open wide and I’m ready for whatever else comes our way. So here’s to change. 

And if you’ve seen the movie, I would really love to hear what you thought about it, leave your thoughts in the comment below!

A Quarter Closer to Right

fabian-mardi-119790-unsplashI finished my last final for winter quarter by noon today and just like that, I am one quarter away from being halfway through my undergraduate career (hopefully).

I have to say though, I don’t think I’ll miss weeks like this past one. I’ve spent more time studying in the past week then I probably have on average of any two week periods throughout this entire quarter. By the end of it all, I owned every bit of material I learned.

Does that mean I’ll remember it by the end of the year though? Probably not.

But hopefully, what I hope I do remember are all the books I can squeeze in between breaks and small moments of serenity that I can get my hands on. Even though I’ll have a new Book Worm post up for you on Tuesday, there is one quote that I keep thinking about from my current read, The Hate You Give by Angie Thomas.

Sometimes you can do everything right and things will still go wrong. The key is to never stop doing right.

Now maybe I’ve just been reading too much Chaucer this week, focusing in on the ideas of theodicy, intent vs intentionality, etc. But this quote seemed too big to ignore.

As someone who is about to leave behind a decade in my life to enter a new one within the next month, the idea of doing things right is always on my mind somewhere. People used to ask me, “what do you want to be when you grow up?”

toa-heftiba-274947-unsplashAs if I ever really had an answer for that.

Fifteen years ago, it was probably a vet because I liked animals. Ten years ago, a doctor, because that’s what I grew up around. And now, sure, I’ll throw out the words “a writer” or some other dream I know I want to chase, but there’s one that I’ve never quite said out loud because of how cliche the idea can really be.

When I grow up, just like I am every time I look back, all I want is to be doing something right.

So how does one measure what is right?

I guess if we had that question answered, so many of us wouldn’t still be asking. To measure the success of being right, of doing all of this right, I think at some point we have to accept there isn’t only one answer.

Just like I don’t feel ready for my finals until I feel ready. Maybe that takes me a week straight of studying and maybe that takes someone else just a few hours. It depends on us.

That feeling of doing something right, it’ll come down to me.

Sometimes I joke with my parents that they can come visit me in ten years, but they’d have to be okay with cramming the few of us into my little box of a home because that’s all I’m going to be able to afford. Either that, or I move back in with them, assuming they haven’t retired, up and left already. The empty nester’s ultimate goal.

arunas-naujokas-485529-unsplashAll joking aside though, sometimes I wonder how adults figured it all out. I mean, yes at age 18 I am considered an adult but let’s be honest, maybe young adult at best. The idea used to be karma for me— if I do everything right and check all the boxes, everything will simply fall into place. Because I deserve it.

But I’ve learned over the years that karma isn’t quite all there is; it doesn’t always work out that way. Things probably usually don’t.

So maybe I’ll check all the boxes, I’ll keep doing what I feel is right, and things still go wrong. Does that mean it’s my fault, that at some point along the way I made a wrong turn or if doing right doesn’t get me where I want, then what’s the point?

No, in reality, I think it just means that we have to fight a little harder and push through all the problems standing in our way.

Because, though I might talk about it more on Tuesday, equality isn’t the same as equity and neither is the same for the circumstances any of us are born into. For some people, things are bound to work out differently due to where our lives fall within the brackets opportunity. And that’s that.

I could ask every parent I know if they ever felt like they were doing exactly what they needed to be to get where they wanted, but if I asked my own, I don’t even think they would have a solid answer for that.simon-matzinger-603033-unsplash

Maybe we all figure it out eventually because we keep doing our own version of right and find ourselves changing, our paths turning, along the way. There are no guidelines, no right boxes to check and no true rules to follow (technically).

Hopefully for me, all answers on that english final were right this morning and I can watch a good grade fall into my GPA. But one way or another, all’s is well that ends well.

All we have are the today’s to do something right and let the rest fall into place.