New Year

Becoming the Game Changer

And just like that, it’s a new calendar year. Did you spot the differences in the layout? If you did, let me know and I’ll tell you a secret. But like I said, here we are in a new year and I would say my resolution is to actually write 2019 on my papers consistently for the next two weeks but I know I’d break it so there’s no point.

That’s the thing about resolutions, sometimes we make ones we know are impossible for us to meet, just to see if we can make it happen anyway. There’s got to be a better way to do this.

And well, there is. One with with a whole lot less pressure too. It’s not exactly a resolution, but more of a plan. Hear me out:

Take it step by step, each one something you can reach from the last. And keep doing it until you get to where you want to be. Then do it again. And again…

I say this because I know that I have my own tendencies to set goals for myself that I really want to reach, but oftentimes the bar is set a little too high. So when I fail, it’s almost too discouraging to keep trying.

I forget that sometimes it isn’t about changing yourself to be “good enough” to reach that goal, it’s about changing your expectations—change the goal.

Think of it this way. Throughout most of my life (that I remember), I’ve always been pretty reserved and not necessarily quiet, but more a watcher than a player. As great as it is to have that quieter or more preserved side when it’s useful, it can be kinda boring and maybe lonely. After all, people usually seek out the exciting or fun ones, not the wallflowers.

Last year, I set my goals on changing that, just a little. Not necessarily changing me, but letting what I’ve learned mold me into someone more capable of becoming who I want to be.

It wasn’t going to happen overnight and it definitely wasn’t going to happen in some huge and/or public grand gesture, I had to start small. So I did a mini version of CCE WOW with our Polycultural weekend (PCW) and somehow committed myself to the Black Student Union’s dance routine in the process. In retrospect, there was a bit of a grand gesture in there with the whole dance on stage, under the bright lights, in front of everyone thing… But the hosting part with PCW was a baby step for me, a step that let me meet a lot of people, my voice get a little bit louder, and I found myself in the middle of things a little more often than not.

I couldn’t stop there.

So I set a new goal: WOW. It went wonderfully, as I hope you all know (if not, you really should catch up), so I kept stepping a little higher and higher the next time. And well, I’m still stepping so that counts for something. This time, I’m just changing the direction a bit.

The goal for 2019 is simple, yet somehow bigger than any I’ve set before.

Just like I had to be the one to push myself to make the grade or get involved or join that club or apply for that job, this year I am letting my life become the epitome of what each of these have in common.

I’m going to be my own game changer.

Sometimes, we rely so much on other people, we look for things we hope can help us fix something perceived to be broken, something that can be better, when it really comes down to us doing it ourselves. We have to stand up and do what needs to be done, even if it’s against our own bad habits or what something used to be.

Because sometimes, sometimes a plan works and you can keep raising those goals every time you stepped up to the last one. You become just a little more of who you want to be for it, whatever that looks like to you.

But other times, life just happens, whether or not we’re ready for it. You can’t plan for that. More than just a plan, remember that no matter what you do this year, live for yourself. Be ready to take what you’ve got and make it into whatever you can.

Be ready to change your own game.

If you’ve got any plans or any resolutions this year, I want to hear it! Feel free to shout them out a little in the comments and I’ll hype you up if you need it. Good luck and I’ll see you on Tuesday for Poetry Place. Happy new year.

5 Parts of My 2018 You Should Know

Disappointing?

Adventurous?

Below average?

Successful?

Or maybe it’s all of the above.

The thing about new years is that we tend to go into them with these big expectations. Especially at my age when it seems that everyone is doing something even while you look back and feel like you’ve done nothing at all.

It almost feels like you wasted the entire year doing this or that but without ever getting to the good part.

You know?

But listen to this: there is no way you spent the last 361 days doing nothing productive; you’ve laughed, cried, made friends, maybe lost others… And you’ve survived. We both have.

Because amidst surviving, I learned a few things along the way.

Sometimes, it’s about surviving

And that’s it. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves whether it’s about our weight, people, jobs, or even grades. Then life gets in the way. There are a lot of things we have no control over but the way I see it, we just need to survive and get through it. Sometimes, that’s the best you can do. The rest will follow.

It’s not about you, it’s about me

Now this might sound selfish, but hear me out: just because your best friend is getting married or your sibling did that huge thing already… It doesn’t matter. They are living a different life than you. Do you compare circles to squares and wonder why one can’t be more like the other? No. So don’t do that to yourself, just worry about what you’re doing, what you need to be doing, and how you feel about it. Go from there.

People are everything

It’s taken me some time to get to this one, but truly, your people make a world of difference in your life. It can be hard to accept change or drifting friends just as it’s hard to break into new groups and start over. But do it for yourself and stick to the people who feel just a little bit like home, the ones who see you for who you are. The rest don’t matter. And if you can’t see them, look harder. They’re there.

It doesn’t all have to be figured out

One way I know I hold myself back a lot is thinking that I can’t start down a new path without finishing out the last journey, even if it’s time to put it on hold for a while and go a different direction. Sometimes, things just aren’t working. Take it from a new angle, whether you have a plan or wing it. You have to trust yourself and take it one step at a time.

This life is not a means to an end

We spend a lot of time working towards the next step and the next one after that, forgetting to enjoy where we’re at. So far, I went through high school planning for college and in college, I’m planning the rest of my life when I’ll be honest in saying that I haven’t enjoyed college all that much. I’ve treated it as a means to an end—whatever that end is. But last year and this year, thanks to Bryce and Maddie and a few too many others, they’ve reminded me that the end might not be what we expect, in time or manner. We have to pay attention to the present too. Maybe I need to change that and remember this journey. We need to enjoy the process of getting there, not just what it looks like once we do.

As of now, these are the biggest things I’ve learned this year; a smaller list than other years with bigger concepts. It seems to me that this is what growth looks like right now: Little things that mean a whole lot more than they used to.

It’s hard to believe that this is the third calendar year I’m ending with a Friday blog post— three years now, can you believe it? From 18 to 20 going on 21, it’s been quite the past few years with me and this one has been no different. For all of us, I hope the future holds a little bit of all of the above, from the good moments to the downright awkward.

They’re all important after all. And I’m glad you’ve been here for all of mine, thanks for sticking with me through 2018. Trust me, there’s a lot in store for 2019. Just you wait.

Here’s to ending the year on a good note, thanks for being here.

A Resolution for Something Better

Welcome to 2018, a new year and a fresh chance to accidentally write the wrong year on all your dates for a while. But maybe this year we can get the hang of it a little faster.

New year, new us right?

Except not really. Every year, I seem to share this sentiment more than the last when I consider the idea of starting over. As much as a new year doesn’t truly mean that we have a completely clean slate, even I can’t deny the fact that it means change.

This year is fresh chance to try again. A new start with resolutions of exercising more, getting better grades, spending more time with the right people… The list goes on. But aside from the hope we all seem to hold of something better, these are all good things, I think there’s something that truly needs to be focused on this year.

We need to focus on ourselves.

nathan-lemon-482951 As the countdown came for the new year, I watched the time tick closer to the end of my teenage years. Not just that, but in watching my brother’s graduation and the people I always saw as little freshman in high school coming into their senior years… Time is something we have no control over; I knew that, but that doesn’t stop it from flying by.

So instead of focusing on the big pieces of our lives that can change who we are, I wanted to focus in on the little ones for ourselves.

Like trying to be a little kinder this year.

Volunteering more or holding doors, smiling at strangers.

Think about the people who matter to you in this life, remind them of that.

And remember the singular, fragile lives we all hold— try to spend every day doing something worth living for.

Because this is a new year, not quite a blank slate but still a reason to give yourself a second chance (maye a third or a fourth).

I believe it should be a year of self-love, not just taking baths every night and treating yourself while you can, but truly appreciating who you are. With so much technology in our faces and social media showing what people want us to see, especially in my generation, we can lose sight of our own brilliance. aaron-burden-143101

We forget our own worth.

I think sometimes people get so caught up in their jobs or worries or responsibilities or friends that they forget this: every one of you should be a priority in your own life.

At times, that means slowing down. Whether you’re in college, you’ve got a demanding job, or you’re simply in a position where you can work too hard, maybe you should do the opposite. As I’ve said before, burnout is real and it truly affects every aspect of your life.

If you need to slow down do it— this means taking less units, calling in sick, springing a random day-trip… Whatever you need to do to get yourself where you want to be, do it. This isn’t a year to hold back.

This is a year of taking every step that we can towards a healthier and happier population.

With a world that holds 4.7 billion people, I can’t deny the rise of mental health issues and unhappy people around me. That doesn’t mean we can’t do our best to change it. The thing is, that change starts with you. And me. With every one of us making an effort in our own lives to being better.

This is day 5 of 365, with a little time left to make yourself genuinely smile at least once today. If there’s something you want, something you need to do, there is no time like the present to get started. Because this is a new year, same old us, but still a chance to change who we are becoming. For today and the next 360 days, here’s to our journey towards a better version of ourselves.

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