It’s been a whirlwind week here, beginning with jumping my car at 10:30 on a Sunday night and ending with the mayhem of midterms and Valentine’s Day festivities. It was one of those weeks where I got about 3 hours of sleep one day and almost 11 on another.
Sounds kinda like college.
If you noticed, there was no Poetry Place on Tuesday, hence the midterms Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday took priority. But I did want to give you at least a little something.
So that’s part of today’s post. Because after all, it is Black History Month, something that people are also beginning to realize is not only ‘his’tory but ‘her’story too. The more I think about what has had to happen in the past for me to be where I am today, the more I also think about what I do and care about that will then lead me into a future I hope to have.
After all, my current reality will become a part of my own history before I know it. The least I can do is make the most of it.
You see, everything I’ve thrown myself into on Cal Poly’s campus is a huge part of what is changing my future. The things I’m passionate about and the people I hold onto in my life, all of that is changed by what I’m doing here. That’s why I write, why I follow the things I do or pay attention to the people that I want.
Weeks like this one put it all in perspective. Because, sure, I’m working hard to get a degree to then find a career so I can afford a stable life. But it’s bigger than that.
Beyond the degree and the classes I have the people and the passions and the aspirations that are molded out of the clay I walked onto this campus with.
While I fight to figure out what I want and the directions I want to go in, I’m also beginning to realize that I need to pick my battles somewhere in between.
Some days are better fit for buckling down and grinding out a few hours of hard studying. Others are the ones to maybe spend a few hours watching too much tv or wasting too much time with friends.
I’m starting to realize that college is about learning to pick my battles.
Because within that, some days are the ones to allow myself the grace to take a step back from everything that will take away pieces of me that I need for my own good. And others, well… You get the point. Sometimes I can afford to give a little. Other times, I need to learn when not to.
The Poetry Place of this post, it’s about learning the difference in what that means. Learning the balance.
It’s a part of my life after all, every one of our lives. It’s about deciding which day is which. Maybe if you’ve figured it out, you can pass along some tips in the comments. In the meantime, here’s Today is Not the Day.
Today is not the day
to feel like I can conquer the world,
to hold my head a little too high,
or feel like this will be alright.
Today is just a day
to exist, to keep breathing,
to understand it’s all I can do,
to remember that I’m not okay
and that’s okay.
Because today is just a day,
time will move forward,
and it will pass.
This day will become
a part of the past
just like they always do.
Happy Friday everyone. I hope you had a wonderful Valentines and remembered all the love that should come from you too. See you next week.