Set for Success in Year 4

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Happy Friday, because it’s been a long week. After the last first week of my undergraduate career—hopefully—I can already see the time counting down in front of me. While I’m an English major, this quarter I’m getting more into my minor classes and it’s quite different from what I’m used to doing. 

I mean, I usually study English and literature and meanings and write essays… Now I’m working in Illustrator, learning the Adobe software, and getting a kick start in digital art.

Plus doing a good amount of fiction writing in the process.

All of it got me thinking, I’m coming to the end of my undergraduate career and this is a good time as any to throw what I’ve learned out to all of you—because I’ve made my fair share of mistakes and mishaps. Maybe you will all get a chance to learn from them and the lessons I found along the way.

So here we go:

7 ways to make the most out of a new beginning

Don’t hesitate

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A lot of times, when we’re getting into something we haven’t done before whether it’s a promotion at a company or a new school year, we hold ourselves back a little bit. I mean, it’s hard not to when you don’t know what’s coming next. But that’s okay. If you have a chance to learn or get lunch with the boss, do it. If your professor seems to single you out in class, you’d better get on it and know your stuff then. This even goes for meeting new people and throwing all your cards on the table–if you’re going to do something, do it all the way. Do not hesitate. Give it all you’ve got. 

Invest in yourself

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This goes along with the first one, you only get out as much as you put in. So if you’re trying to succeed, set yourself up for it. Do your work early, do your best in the time you have, don’t be afraid of testing the boundaries of what you know. There are only so many ways to learn and sometimes you can surprise yourself. If there is someone around that you just need to know so you can pick their brain or learn from them, go for it! Networking is a part of everything we do once we get past high school, make the most of it. 

Ask Questions

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I know when I walk into new things, I always worry about doing something wrong or not knowing how to be perfect. But the thing is, part of a job is learning as you go; you’re never going to be taught everything you need to know. Just like the rest of our lives, some things are best learned through experience. If you don’t know how to get an assignment done and can’t problem solve on your own, ask. There is a reason there will always be someone who knows a little bit more than we do. Why not use that?

Be shameless

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Now I put this one in here with a grain of salt—be shameless, but in the way that you’re willing to learn and do what it takes to be the best you can be. That doesn’t mean wiping out your moral compass, stepping on other people, or compromising your integrity in the process. You know your own boundaries, you know how you usually work. Own it and do your thing.

Know your potential

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Even when we work really hard for something, a lot of us have a tendency to downplay just how good we really are. Don’t. If you get hired or chosen or decide to pursue something for yourself, have some faith. Sure, we make wrong turns and risky decisions sometimes. But none of us will get anywhere if we’re so busy being humble or insecure that we can’t find the space to grow from there. You are the only person you will always have. You may as well be your number 1 advocate. 

Use your resources

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There is a reason schools have counseling centers or financial aid offices, just like all jobs have a bosses and HR departments. Use them if you need them. After 4 years in college, I’ve found that some people don’t like using the resources around them because they can feel like handouts or as if they can’t be on the same level as everyone else… I understand that, but I also understand that the resources are there and you’re probably already paying for it. Success isn’t all raw talent, athletes need to train and students need to study. Both use resources to get all that done, so why can’t you? You deserve the best for yourself, this is simply setting up for success.

Ask for help

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When in doubt, ask someone. I remember my first few jobs, I ran into so many questions from how to cancel a transaction to where the break room was. And I was almost always afraid to ask because I felt like I should have known. In hindsight, that makes no sense as we all only know things because we are either taught or we can teach ourselves. Some things can’t be self-taught. Save yourself the anxiety, time, and probably discomfort; just ask. I know as a senior in my workplace, I’ve come to train a lot of newbs and first time retail students; I would much rather someone ask me if something is okay or how to do it than have them do it wrong. Then that’s more work for me and mistakes that might come back for them later. Help me help you. Ask for what you need.


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It’s year 4 and even though there are only seven things on this list, I’m sure I could make a much longer one if that’s really what you want. But these seven, I feel like they’ve really helped me grow and push my own limits in college. There are only so many ways to make the most of something and these are some of the ones that I know quite well.

If you’re on a journey in something new, testing boundaries, or just pushing yourself a bit, maybe one of these will help you find a balance in that success.

I know they have for me. And hey, if you’ve got any favorites to share, feel free to put those in the comments because I would love to hear it. Otherwise, happy Friday.

Have a lovely weekend. 

To Love and to Lose


If this blog post is a bit scattered, I’m sorry. It simply reflects where I’m at with this life and figuring things out with so much going on.

Life is… Complicated. Always. There is good, there is bad, and there’s a whole lot of in between. I think, for right now, that’s okay. Because I don’t think it’ll ever change and if these past few years have taught me anything, it’s that.

My cousin got married last weekend in Colorado with a beautiful ceremony, surrounded by all the people who love him and his wife. It was lovely, to spend time outside of my day to day life and be with family, fresh air and a bit of distance.

Coming back to my life, however, has been less straightforward. You see, this week is the Week of Welcome, that WOW thing I’ve been preparing for throughout the last year. Well, here it is!

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The Awareness Galleries, they turned out beautifully. All of the content, the tech, the designs, they all came together in a way I couldn’t have imagined. And while some schedules may have been off and people were stressed here and there, I think every single person who went through those galleries got something out of it. Something intangible.

A few students even came up after they walked through and told me how much of an impact it all really had. That was more than enough for me. That, and being able to see my new roommate to preface her group before their walkthrough too. It was a nice surprise and she seems like someone I will be lucky to know this year.

CCE has also been a bit of a wild-card this year. For WOW, I haven’t been in the middle of it the way I have been for the rest of the year because the other two Facilitators who are here for the Week have been responsible for CCE. And they have done wonderfully. It’s a beautiful thing to work really hard on something with other people you trust enough to be apart from the process when it’s time to make it happen while still being able to fully trust them to do it and to do it well.

Because now, I have grand WOWies. And I care so much about every single one of them. There is something about the way I live my life, I need to connect with people and be tethered to a lot of other lives in a positive way, otherwise I feel unfulfilled. With my Orientation leaders and my WOWies who are now leaders themselves, I get that impact and those connections coming back to me tenfold. I would do anything for them and that makes me feel grateful. Grateful that I have people like this to love, that they exist here, and that they have a chance to be positively impacted by this program. 

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Because it’s so much bigger than each of us and that means the world to me.

After all, there is only so much control we have over what happens in our lives. Things like getting involved with Orientation and doing my best to positively touch all these lives, I get to do that myself. Other things, not so much.

There’s nothing like being witness to deep loses and tragedy of so many young people over the years to remind me of all of that.

Over the past two weeks, my small hometown of Folsom has lost 4 alum all from the Class of 2017. And I do not know how to comprehend that. I don’t even know how long it will take me to do so.

In the process, I have caught up with and talked to countless old friends this week to check in or just to talk and sometimes I forget what it was like to grow up the way I did in Folsom. I had my hand in so many pots, from countless AP classes and arts to almost every sport and club I could be in, that the amount of people I love and hold connections to sneaks up on me sometimes. With so many connections, it can be hard to keep up. It can also leave me with a higher chance of losing people.

Folsom, it isn’t that small. But the way I know I love people and the way so many of us cared about one another or were teammates with so many others of us, it makes us all pretty tight-knit when it comes down to it. That’s just how things were. So these losses, they have ricochet between all of us and the lives we have lost, holding love stretching between Folsom and almost every corner of the rest of the world.

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It’s beautiful.

And it’s tragic.

Because death is inevitable. But the death of the young, it hits differently. It’s not something I think I will ever get used to or fail to be changed by, even in such a short period of time.

In the way I write, forgive, hope, support, love, live, and breathe, I see changes in myself that I think will change even more as I move forward from here. Each of us have been altered. I’m sure you’ve seen it just through these weekly posts in the past few years.

So I hope you know that I will take it as it comes, whatever happens next. And if you’re someone in my life, I probably appreciate you more than I can express. So thank you, for sticking around and listening. For being here.

As for Austin, Luca, Len (Lemon), and Josh, you are all so so loved. Just like Maddie, Cinnamon, Bryce, Ronin, and too many more of you always will be. I’m sorry I cannot give you more time than you had, though each of you lived so wonderfully in 20 and sometimes less years that it takes my breath away. Just know that your lives are missed and loved and will live on through the rest of us. Always.

This weekend will not be an easy one, but it is through the love that we hurt and we move forward when we can. No matter what it takes, what time it lasts, or what people we need to hold to get us there. This no longer belongs to just one of us anymore. They lived too large for that.

Photo by Gordon Hatusupy from Burst

And we loved them for it.

In good time, we keep moving even when the world never stops. Maybe that’s the hard part, that the world keeps turning while some people’s cannot for some time.

That’s okay.

Sometimes, it’s worth it to slow down for just a little bit and take it all in while we still can. If you’re reading this, don’t forget to breathe in the life you are living and remind the people you love that you love them still today. 


Here’s to the weekend. And to the four we have lost so quickly, rest easy my friends.

Chasing Time

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These last few years, I feel as if I’ve been chasing time. Trying to make the most of it, trying to enjoy what I had even when I couldn’t, trying trying trying. And yet, time has always seemed to slip away from me.

Life is far too short for that. 

There is a whole lot going on in my world right now and I know some of you are in the same boat. I’m writing this for you just as much as I’m writing it for me, whether it’s a push to make the most of the last bits of summer or reminding all of us that we can. That it’s possible. 

Because every day I am reminded of the fragility of our lives. Even more than being afraid of what that means and the things that happen because of it, I am slowly learning to use it as a reason to stay here and stay alive for as long as I can.

That, and stay moving.

Now, they say that we keep learning and growing with this whole adulting thing and I guess I can agree with that. Sometimes. Because sometimes, even while I want to keep moving and keep living this life, I don’t know how.

Let it happen.

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Let what happen you ask? Everything. There are so many things in our lives that we cannot change or control. I am someone who has tried only too had to do so anyway, though ultimately in vain. In turn, doing so tends to hurt more than it helps, leaving us stressed, worried, exhausted, and feeling unfulfilled.

You have to let it go, trust that it’s okay to not have that control in your own hands.

Believe me on this one.

You’re still allowed to ask someone to sit with you in that turmoil, to weather it with you. You don’t have to do it on your own. But when it comes to the rest, focus on what you can control. Brush your teeth, check in with someone you love, put on something that you feel good in. All of this, this you can do with your own hands.

Do it. Leave the rest up to the universe.

Here are a few things that have gotten me through it all anyway.


Four things:

Acknowledge the dark clouds, remember the silver lining.

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There is always some kind of positive to every situation each one of us go through. Even when we can’t see it. It’s okay to be swallowed up by it all for a little while, that is always something you are allowed. Just don’t forget to dig yourself out every once in a while, wake up and smell the roses if you will. Because I promise, there are roses growing right now somewhere in the world and you deserve a chance to feel them around you. Do your best and if you need help, I can be on my way with a bouquet–just say the word.

Go gently. Or not.

Everyone handles things differently. Starting college, new jobs, taking on new responsibilities, dealing with new experiences. Some people take a step back, needing to go gently and take their time to adjust. Others barrel forward with a plan and a bigger reason to live their lives the way they want to. And if you’re neither of those, the rest of us are in between. Truly, it is okay to fall wherever you do on that spectrum.

Speak up.

Say it out loud, whatever it is. Have you ever heard a child talk about being afraid of something when someone told them this one piece of advice: Things are sometimes less scary once you name them and say it out loud. Just like being afraid of a rollercoaster until going on it and realizing that it wasn’t so bad. If you need to talk about something, say it; it makes things real. Sometimes, that’s exactly what you need to do.

Remember, this life is yours.

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No matter what you’re doing, this life belongs to you. For every one of us it is our responsibility to pick ourselves up when no one else will, be our own cheerleader, take initiative to reach for our passions and understand how to handle it when things don’t quite go our way. No one else can do all of these things for us, as much as I truly wish they could sometimes. We’re the ones who have to keep moving, who have to find dreams to follow and keep following them. We’re the ones who have to live our lives. And we call the shots. Even while the people we love walk alongside us as we do.


So hear me out on this one: I don’t know what’s going to happen in any of our lives in the next year, the next month, even the next five minutes. I used to wish I could just to prepare for whatever was coming next in order to not be afraid of it any longer. But if we’re honest with ourselves, we can’t do that—for good reason, that would be no fun after all. This world isn’t something we are meant to control, nor are other people’s choices or the things that they do.

We just have to do our own thing and trust the rest will fall into place, let them fall where they may. And if it doesn’t, your support system is made up of the people who will get you through that. Even when you feel like you don’t have one, reach out. Ask for one. I promise, someone will answer. 

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Remember that today is Friday and you have made it to another week. Hold on tight to the people you care about, remember that you are the shit, and live a little extra if you can today. Trust me, it’s worth it.

Two days ago was 9/11. Three days ago was World Suicide Prevention Day. Your life is valued, your life is important, and so are those of the ones we have lost. Remember that. And even more so, believe that.

See you next week.


PS. If you know, you know. My twitter handle is here and my email page is here; if you need something, let me know. Even if I cannot give exactly what you need, I can offer my company through it. Take care of yourselves.

TGIF

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TGIF am I right?

If I’m being honest, this week was a real rough one let me tell ya. Even though I know I should be preparing for classes starting back up soon, I was not prepared to get up early every day for the past week. You could say I’m out of touch.

I did, however, get a few things done/make a few big decisions in the process. 

First things first, you know how when you get sick and you’re all congested, it’s easy to remember how nice it is to be able to breathe normally? Well, for the past week, I’ve been missing the feeling of not being nauseous/dizzy/feel like passing out 90% of the time. On top of other things, this week has been a lot and I’m ready to decompress a little.

Still, I managed to accomplish a few great feats even while not feeling well. My house is clean, laundry is done, and best of all, the Galleries for the Week of Welcome are looking incredible.

I can’t say I’ve ever thought I would be so great with a staple gun, but the me from two weeks ago would be quite proud. Things are looking great and I’ve gotten a solid week’s worth of work in—I’ve also been back at work as a jack-of-all-trades at the University store.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

You could say it pays off to work at the same place for three years.

In the spirit of adulting, I only called out of work one morning this week and I think it was in the best interest of all parties at that point. Someone told me that sometimes we have to keep up even when our bodies aren’t quite in tip top shape.

That leads me to my next thing, that decision I mentioned.

I think I am going to write another blog. I won’t be changing anything I do with this one, I appreciate the consistency of it and it means a lot to me. I couldn’t give that up.

What I can do is explore something I haven’t yet: mental health. 

I know I have talked about it every once in a while, but I want a space to open up the conversation and talk about it in itself. Because if I’m being honest, my mental health journey has been quite interesting throughout college as it is for a lot of students and somehow, not a lot of people talk about it.

Just like the rest of our lives, we should talk about it.

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Working within the Galleries for the past year, every aspect of our lives ties into another and I have come to appreciate that. Especially at my age, once we hit 20, it seems that everyone is on a different path than the next.

College, army, working, travelling, etc. There are no real rules for where we are at in our lives. No one has a guideline for what this decade is supposed to look like. I mean, someone created the maxim that college is the best four years of our lives and well… I can’t quite say that’s been true.

What I can say, I have never grown as much as I have in these last three years of my life. That’s as long as I’ve had this blog going so surely, you’ve seen what I mean. Part of me wants to take what I’ve learned and experienced, and use that to change the status quo.

Part of me probably needs the outlet. You see, I’m a creative person who thrives off of our lives and what impacts them. That’s where my creating comes from, where I think we all can relate to one another.

After all, relationships really are the backbone of our lives and our connections.

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So let’s connect. Don’t worry, you’ll be the first to know when I figure out what I’m doing next.

Get ready for a new journey, it’ll be a fun one.

Happy Friday, enjoy the weekend everyone. 

If a Project Could Change My Life

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I’ve done a whole lot of things in my 21 years of life, from learning different sports and different instruments, to trying new classes and new hobbies. 

But I think somewhere within the last year of my life, I got involved in something that is changing the course of where I want to go and who I want to be. It’s undeniable just how much. 

We call it The Awareness Gallery.

You see, a lot of the things I have done or tried are things I’ve planned to do or wanted to try. I’m not a huge fan of surprises; that, and I like to be in control change. Ironic, I know. But like a lot of people, I don’t like walking into things without knowing what’s going to happen next. 

In my junior year of college, I decided to spend the year doing it anyway.

Getting involved with Cal Poly Orientation is something that I threw myself into without letting myself back out, for a few reasons. The biggest one: because I knew it would change me.

And it has. Immensely.

This last year has introduced me to just a few things that I think I will love for the rest of my life. One of them is influencing and interacting with people, people who have an insurmountable amount of potential and want to see if they can reach it with my help.

Photo by Da Kraplak on Unsplash

The other thing is speaking up, in whatever way I can.

I’ve said this in the past and you should know it by now—I adore the art of storytelling. The way it draws us in, introduces us to lives and people and places that we do not know in our own realities… Sometimes I wonder if there is just a little bit of magic in that.

This time, I wanted to be a part of that magic and I have been chasing it for almost a decade now, long enough to learn how to tell my own stories. Poetry, short stories, novels, these are all pieces of what I find beauty in, what I have learned to define as storytelling.

It took me until last year to fully understand just how many other ways someone can tell a story.

That Awareness Gallery I mentioned? It’s a special project in Cal Poly’s orientation program that students like me and the handful of others I am working with get to put together.

We take a look at mental health, sexual assault, relationships, diversity & inclusivity, and drugs & alcohol as areas of our lives that have a heavy impact on college students. As one of the students working on it, I have found, researched, and fact checked statistics we display in the room, along with finding new ways to introduce students to topics that will be surrounding them sooner than later.

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Because students need to know, it needs to be something we can talk about. So why not start the moment they step onto our campus?

The gallery eases them into it.

We each have our own sections to focus on and a partner to work with up until now when we put the galleries together as a whole. Up until now, what we have created and improved upon for this year was all just an idea. They were imagined depictions and hopeful outcomes, things I’ve wanted to see happen but known may not be feasible. Nothing was concrete.

Not until this week. On Tuesday, we started putting the gallery together and let me tell you something: storytelling will never be limited to our words.

It is the things you say, the way you say it, they medium you introduce information with, how quickly you deliver it, what you add to it, and so much more. And this week, I have gotten to literally have my hands on chapters of the stories we have decided to tell. These are the stories students need to understand and hear and know that exist in their world.

They need to know that when they see themselves reflected back at them through the statistics and lives of others, they are not the only ones. And they never will be.

The work I am doing on this gallery with my talented and incredible friends is something priceless; we signed up for this on a volunteer basis because we care about it. Enough to put in hours of our time to adjust and brainstorm and research and measure out just how to put these galleries together in the best way possible.

Photo by Deanna J on Unsplash

As much as I like getting paid for the work I put into things, there is something to say for the work we do simply because we know that we care enough to do it and are passionate enough to do it well.

These galleries will be finished, walked through, understood, witnessed, and taken down all within the next month. Yet, the impact it has on Cal Poly’s next class of students will last much longer than that. And the experience I have gotten, the time I’ve spent around the people who care about these things and discovering what it can mean to tell the stories untold, it is intangible.


So I wanted to share it with you. Happy Friday, see you next week.

Making a Lesson out of a Hot Mess

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I don’t like asking for help… It makes me feel weak, as if I’m giving up my independence, and I don’t like showing people that if I don’t trust/know them. Maybe you can relate to that. 

So imagine my horror yesterday, sitting in an African hair salon getting my hair done when I find myself in the position of needing to ask for help. From strangers. Strangers that I just met. And not only strangers I had just met who were handling my hair, but also the first black people outside my family I had spent hours with all summer.

It was a hot mess. And yes, I do mean hot because you should have seen me sweat. 

Here’s what happened.

I’ve been looking to do something different with my hair, we all need change every once in a while, and I realized that I haven’t done braids since my sophomore year of high school. Plus, I need to protect my edges because they’ve been breaking lately and hair breakage is no good. So why not go for braids?

Once I knew what I wanted to do, I had to figure out who I was going to have do it for me. As much as I wish I was skilled enough to do my own braids, it would probably look terrible and that isn’t quite ideal either.

So I took to Google, looking for a braiding salon with good ratings and not too many nightmare reviews—they’re all bound to have a few if we’re all being honest with ourselves. But I found one, picked it, called them, and made my appointment. Cool, so that was that.

Except that this was the first time I have ever gotten my hair done in braids and I’ve 1, gone my myself while 2, paid someone neither my mom nor I actually knew personally to do it. I was a little nervous to say the least. But as they say, I guess this is the time for adulting or whatever that’s supposed to look like.

Alas, there I was. Thursday morning, I got my things together, ate a sandwich as I drove (bad habit, I know), and I parked terribly in front of the salon just in time. That is, after missing my turn the first time and having to make two U-Turns just to get back to the right place… But I mean, I made it.

That’s when things started falling apart.

The moment I walked in the door, my nose started to bleed. A lot. And this is as another braider is directing me to their nice white couch to wait for my braider to arrive. Excuse me while I go be embarrassed and hold toilet paper to my nose for the next twenty minutes, fixing my park one handed because, well that was the most crooked park I’ve made all summer and I was embarrassed by that too. 

If you haven’t noticed, embarrassment and nosebleeds happen a lot in my life. Idk, I’ve learned to live with it.

In a half hour, my nose finally decided to chill, my braider showed up, and she started doing my hair. Easy process to start. But then she began slipping in between french and english while she braided and I really hope she wasn’t talking to me because I would not have known. I took Spanish in high school and college… I didn’t understand half of what was said in that salon yesterday.

But wait, there’s more. 

Photo by Max Winkler on Unsplash

Because about two and a half hours in, I started sweating profusely and could not seem to sit still. My hands started shaking endlessly, chills were running up and down my spine like a track practice, and the sweating would not stop. Considering my braider was right next to my forehead, she noticed about 15 minutes after it started and I tried to tough it out but in another 15 minutes, I was ready to pass out, puke, or both. If you’ve never gotten your hair braided or seen the process, just know that these things are not supposed to and do not usually happen. 

Yesterday was rough.

But back to me and my sweating nausea; if you know me, you may also know that I sometimes forget to control my facial expressions. Both braiders in the salon could tell I was getting increasingly more uncomfortable and didn’t know what was going on. So in a few minutes, my braider asked me if I needed anything. I told her it was cramps but it would go away—there was me and my pride, getting in the way as usual. 

Minutes later, that pride had nothing on my pain because she offered to go to a convenience store next door to buy me motrin since I had none on me. Reluctantly, I said yes…  I had to, there was no winning in this situation but there was a possibility of relief. I had to reach for it.

While I tried to understand how I just let a stranger go out of her way for me, as if that wasn’t hard enough for me to do, the other braider offered to make me cup noodles, saying she had some and it would probably help ease my stomach… While attending to another customer, the other braider who wasn’t even assigned to be working on me or my hair offered to make me food free of charge and I had no clue how to react to this overwhelming show of hospitality.

It reminded my of my 10 aunts on my dad’s side—always trying to feed and take care of people, it’s a part of the culture. In that salon though, it was honestly really overwhelming to be surrounded by a culture you’re told that belongs to you even while spending so little time around it, and I was at their mercy because ultimately, they were the ones who could help me not feel so awful in those moments.

Photo by Max Winkler on Unsplash

Politely declining the noodles—reluctantly, there’s only so much pride hospitality a girl can take—my braider came back and handed me the motrin, reminding me to drink some of my water with it. Then, instead of continuing my hair, she sat down for a break and told me to let her know when I was ready.

If I knew how to cry thankful tears, I probably would have done it then because I’m not used to this kind of kindness from strangers, even when I recognize that nature in my family or aunties and uncles from my parents’ college days.

So I’m trying to gather myself and munching on a protein bar I had in my bag, attempting to ignore my embarrassment, and somehow I was feeling a whole lot better in another 20 minutes. After an hour, my braider finished my hair and, in my opinion, I was looking pretty great. Before my body could make anything else go awry, I said a few more red faced and apologetic thank yous to both braiders, before tipping them a bit extra, and hightailing it out of there. I just needed to get out of there at that point.

Finally finished, I was happy to get back into my now well-parked car and do just that. 

After all that, do you see what I mean about the hot mess part? If not, just go back to the last time I mentioned sweating.

 The thing is, I had no choice but to swallow my pride and ask for help from people I didn’t know. Yet, I was rewarded with kindness and somehow, I realized what it meant to have grace in the face of something you can’t see coming. I mean, I definitely wasn’t planning for a bloody nose before getting sick like that. Otherwise I would have planned better. 

Photo by Zach Lucero on Unsplash

It just happened, the way a whole lot of things in our lives do, things you can’t control nor can you see them coming. All any of us can do is handle it with grace—sweaty or not—and find a way to be okay with asking for help when we need it. I won’t say that it was easy, clearly it wasn’t, but I can tell you that I was surprised by the outcome after I did.

I hope that you give that a try next time you need it; trust me, sometimes it’s a whole lot better than suffering in silence. 


Good luck and thanks for sticking with me through that story. Was it worth it? I would love to hear any of your embarrassing or humbling stories if you’ve got them; I’d like to think we all do. 

I’ll see you all soon. Happy Friday.

What You Think You Know

Once of the first mistakes you can make in 2019 is to assume anything; unfortunately, we are all guilty of doing so. 

And it makes us overlook people far too often. We cross the street when someone potentially dangerous walks our way, we think we know gender when we see it, and if someone looks like you can’t depend on them, maybe you’re right.

But maybe you aren’t.

Because stereotypes and assumptions only help us see what we think we know. It doesn’t mean it’s actually true.

I am a woman. 

And also black.

And a liberal arts major.

Photo by ian dooley on Unsplash

So I guess there are plenty of assumptions probably made about me. Some people tend to ask if I’m good at basketball or because I’m tall, I might be in modeling. If someone sees me walking with my twin on campus, they will probably assume we’re dating.

But none of those are true.

I mention this, not because these assumptions bother me because that last one definitely does, but because people things like this cause us to overlook people.

Just because I’m an English major doesn’t mean I can’t crush a Cal 2 final. Because I did. Just because I’m almost notoriously single in all my friend groups, that doesn’t mean I know nothing about relationships–trust me, you learn a lot on the sidelines. And just because I can be a sometimes detrimentally nice person, trust that I know when people are underestimating or taking advantage of me. 

Ignorance isn’t always bliss.  

One person with all the right merits in all the right places on a beautiful resume may be completely unqualified for the job. Instead, the single mom going back to school or the kid who never graduated high school may be just what a company is looking for. If we keep making assumptions for what we think is best for us rather than what we know will be beneficial, we may actually sabotage our own success in the process.

Photo by ian dooley on Unsplash

We end up getting in our own way. 

I know that this week, I did.

When we look at schools and jobs and cities, we take a list of criteria and compare what each of those things have to offer us versus what we want. The thing is, if you know me then you know that I love my lists. That’s how I chose Cal Poly or how I figure out what tasks to do first every day.

And every time I’ve overlooked something. On paper, the school looked great and well, crossing things off on a to-do list feels pretty great. It just doesn’t account for the people, environments, or even what the commute might look like.

Like they say, don’t judge a book by its cover.

The cover might tell you a few lies if you do.

Photo by Jaroslav Devia on Unsplash

You never know what something might be like until you try it. I used to have a friend that I are afraid to ask to brunch because they intimidated me—turns out it was just their face. I chose a self-publisher based on their name and the company they were attached to while a little more research would have been smart. And a summer in SLO with new friends and the beach sounded pretty great, until I ended up spending more time with dogs than actual human beings and as much fun as that can be, it’s not quite the ideal. Plus, of course, I missed my parents.

Fact is not quite fact until you know it for sure and until you do, don’t pigeonhole your options. Maybe things aren’t quite what they seem or someone isn’t who you think they are.


We don’t always know what we think we know and I guess I’m starting to understand that. Even moreso, I’m trying to apply it to my life. Who knows, maybe it’ll turn out to be one of my best learning curves yet.